Why Rachel Platten's Stand By You is the Perfect Self-Love Anthem

For years I have followed, tweeted at, fallen deeper and deeper in love, with Rachel Platten. Her talent, dedication, and passion have been evident from the very start. And now, I'm finding another reason to love her. (Which is insane because, though we've never met, when I see her succeeding I am so tears-in-my-eyes-proud it's like she's me, or my sister, or my best friend.)

Life is hard. And sometimes we give up on ourselves quicker than we should, we talk worse to ourselves than we would ever about anyone else. We pick on ourselves when given compliments. We limit our belief in ourselves. We watch others succeed and think it's because they have something we don't. And by "we" I mean "I." It's a bad habit, one that started young, and, I'd suspect I'm not alone.

Recently I was pushing for some goals that required a bit of team work and where only a few weeks prior I was surrounded with votes of "You've got this!" "I am going to help!" "We can make it happen!" "Call me Friday!" - the deadline approached and suddenly everyone's phones were dead. Or muted. Or lost. Or eaten by some mystical Harry Potter death sucker demon. I looked around, and I was for the most part, alone. Being alone is something I've never been very good at. I feed off of other's energy and creativity. But life is a journey, so I refused to stress (too much). And as I drove around doing errands, Rachel Platten's "Stand By You" was on and I found myself singing it. And by singing, I mean I pretty much was Rachel. And I was rocking it hard. But to whom?

Me.

Because, dang it ladies, we need to stand by OUR SELVES. I don't care how it sounds at first, we ALL have multiple sides. And if you're anything like me, part of you will be absolutely dying and ready to quit everything at the exact moment the other side of you is begging you to chin up, chest out, and fight on.

"Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through" Yes, baby girl, we are breaking down. But we are also going to break through. And when the broken half of you has broken wings, borrow them from the stronger side of yourself until you're ready to open those suckers back up. Because there is always a reason to fight. To persist. To live. ALWAYS.

Rachel also teaches us about persistence. When I first found her music, it was around 2011 and she was relatively unknown, compared to where she is now that is. This girl never gave up. Her reaction to hearing her song on the radio brings tears to my eyes, it's so real! Even if music isn't your goal, what are your wins, big success moments?  How will you feel when you earn your first Mary Kay car? Or the first time a patient requests you to help them? When you graduate? From 1000 ships to Fight song - know what she did? She hustled. Many will see her current success and  think it came quickly, but you and I know differently.  

Here are the lyrics to the song, from AZ Lyrics. And the music video. Love yourself, guys, because everything starts with you and if you can't stand by you, sing it loud and proud until you can! And keep fighting for the dream in your heart and a way to make it happen. God wouldn't let it stay on your heart if there wasn't a reason!


"Stand By You"

(even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven)

Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed
And the heart—sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And, love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, truth—I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith—I think faith is having a reason
And I know now, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine
And I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise, well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees
'Cause I... I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through (come on)
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Love, you're not alone
Oh, I'm gonna stand by you
(even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven)
Yeah, I'm gonna stand by you

Now that you're in love with Rachel like I have been, check out some of her older stuff! Her "Be Here" CD is one of my all time absolute favorites.

Seriously, she's adorable, how do you not love her?!

Is being a "better" mom taking you away from being there?

We see them everywhere. You know them, the adorable mommy and me posts. The perfect Christmas cookies; flour in your hair, frosting on your little one's nose. Craft days with hot glue guns and pom poms. Laughter fills the air, sunlight kisses perfectly polished hardwood floors, a young - and no doubt perfectly in shape - mom giggles with her adoring toddler. It looks like perfection. I think we've all even seen those posts and claimed them a sort of Pinterest-perfection. But what don't we see? I'll tell you, at least in my experiences, what hides in the shadows of the perfectly swept up curtains and the polished floors.

Time.

More clearly, time away from being a mom...in order to be a "better" mom.

Those floors didn't clean themselves and I'd be willing to bet there was an episode or two of Daniel Tiger playing while Mom cleaned the toys off of them, dug out the Swiffer, and took care of business.

Sure, baking cookies is fun! But you have to go through the cabinets checking ingredients, drag the little one into the stores, and then...lets not forget the CLEAN UP. Yep. You had the fun, made the memories, it was awesome! And then it hits you. Stay up until midnight (or later if your child is like mine and doesn't believe in sleep) to clean the dishes...or rely on Dinosaur Train to entertain the little angel in the morning while you do dishes.

Do you sense a theme? Am I alone in this? I don't think I am. And it made me wonder.

Are we so obsessed with creating Pinterest-perfect memories, that we willingly forsake the little moments? In the shadow of a crib coming down and a toddler bed going up, are we going to regret the lie of "it's bedtime!" so we can get the clean up started? Meanwhile missing the soft snuggles that come with sleepy eyes and a tiny hand on your face - simply wanting the comfort of mommy being near.

Will my 17 month old remember that I made lasagna by scratch, that the floor was polished, that we made a light-up firefly from a plastic Easter egg and a battery operated LED?

Or will she remember how I played on the floor with her, teaching her animal sounds by playing. That she helped me clean up, hand in hand. How we played and talked and focused so much on the moment of life that we were so blessed to spend together that I sensed a needed nap before the cries came.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have those Pinterest-perfect moments. I'm just wondering if maybe those moments don't happen a million times a day, without the perfect poses and expert photographer present. I don't have a photo of her hand reaching for my arm, making sure I was still there, as we laid in bed watching Sesame Street and eating chocolate cookies. But I can feel it. I can see it in my mind. And the time I lifted her into my arms, laid her on my chest and watched her close her eyes for a nap. I can feel the soft tendrils of baby-fine hair that tickled my lips, how soft her little head was when I kissed it.

Dishes don't bring those memories. Polished floors make toddler socks slick. Plan your crafts for when a playmate or family member will be around to help or those nights you can't sleep. Do the planning then. And for goodness sake. Get off your computer or phone- now, quit reading, and go kiss that baby. Did she walk up to you in the time it took you to read this? You saw her from the corner of your eye but you kept reading and she walked away. Go to her. The memories are already in the making, don't stress over the planning and prep and cleaning and perfection. Go live in the perfect moments that won't ever make it to social media. We all know the saying, "Babies don't keep."