Baby's First ADR Day! Disney Dining for the first timers!

Well hello there! We have officially reached the point in our Disney World planning when you see how much you've learned along the way and the nerves start a-fluttering!

We ended up booking our vacation through MVT, a travel agency notorious for customer service and fantastic deals! Many of their vacation packages are actually at a steeper discount than you'll find through Disney direct or anywhere else! So far, I am very happy with them! We are using their agent, Brandi, and she has been so dedicated and knowledgeable! If you'd like a free quote from them, just click on MVT and it'll take you to their site!

So, with the balance, room, dining plan, and park tickets clearly in place our next big step was to choose any meals that may or may not need a reservation and have it ready by the 180 mark! Since we knew, roughly, which days we want to be in which park it made it a little easier! We've gone through probably five "itineraries" that have been changed until we finally seem to have the plan that will work best for us - which included adding a day to our trip so we can enjoy a resort day in the middle of our stay!

To start planning your park days, I'd suggest looking at the things that are a priority to your family. We know we'll need a rest day, so we added that to the middle of our trip. We also really want to book the Early Morning Magic at the Magic Kingdom which allows you entrance to Fantasyland before the park opens as well as an All You Care to Enjoy breakfast! That experience is only offered on Sundays and Tuesdays, and since we won't be there on a Sunday - Tuesday *has* to be our Magic Kingdom day! Knowing that meant we could fill the rest in easily.

Another must for us is the Hollywood and Vine Character Breakfast in Hollywood Studios, since we fly in on a Monday that would be too close of a time crunch to risk, Tuesday is Magic Kingdom, Wednesday is rest day, that leaves us Thursday and Friday - Friday being our travel day back home. So, you can see how knowing what's on your "must do" list is imperative to planning your days and dining reservations!

Now that we know which park we want to be in each day, talk it over with your family! I was comfortable not doing a dining reservation at Hollywood Studios for dinner and just letting the day happen, but my husband really wanted to try the 50's Prime Restaurant which is by reservation only.

I've found that it's also helpful to have a tally mark space in your notebook if you're doing a Dining Plan! We are utilizing the middle-tier Disney Dining Plan, so I started by noting how many of each meals we get and then as I marked off our "must-do" meals, I tallied them up. This is important because not all meals are created equally. The dinner at Be Our Guest is now a Signature Meal. That means 2 Table Service Meals per person. So we're using 6 TS credits for one dinner. Which, considering we're pretty vanilla eaters, seems like a waste - but it's also the only way for us to meet C's favorite character - The Beast. And so we'll use them. But anyway, tally marks for the win!

So now you have your itinerary planned, your restaurants picked, and the 180 day mark is approaching. The reservation window opens at 7 am Orlando time. Which meant 6 am CST where I am. I set my alarms and had the MDE app on my phone ready to go! And then it wasn't loading...and I panicked. I rushed - half asleep - to the computer and got the Disney website going, all the while frantically refreshing the app. And then it worked.

The good news is - I got all of my reservations and at times that I think will work for my family! AND it really wasn't as hectic as I thought it would be! The bad news is...well, there isn't. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! And I am all about planning this trip!!

So there you have it! The next update will be our 60 day Fast Pass+ day where we'll plan out ALL the princess visits! And then at 30 Days it'll be PAY IT OFF day! And then we'll be there! Woohoo! Make sure to stay tuned as we wind up the planning and then post there!

Am I qualified for this?!

Yep, you read that right! I am doing something completely awesome...and out of my comfort zone.

I am, by nature, a writer. It's the one thing that stirs deep within my soul, screaming to come out if I don't do it often enough. In addition to the fun scribbles I've created throughout my life, as an adult I've also published several novels!

Years ago I got it in my head that if I wrote romance I could get my foot in the door to write what I really love - Young Adult. But that wasn't my path. The entire road was...just not for me. That's not to say that I judge or even dislike romance - I adore it. BUT it wasn't for me. So after self publishing a few Adult Rom's and even signing with a digital publisher for a few, I felt the Spirit convicting me and I left.

A few years later, I wrote and signed with another digital publisher for my two Young Adult novels, WANDER and IDEAL FAITH. They're in my name and easily found, if you're interested! Just get on amazon and search Lynn Marie Spinks with either title!

Which leads me to the present. After having a child, moving into my mom's basement with the whole fam as we search for our next house, and losing the laptop charging cord...yes, I was dying... I saw another opportunity to write.

My church is full of amazing people. We are led by our senior pastor who writes Middle Grade Fantasy novels. Go ahead, read that again. Leading with him are college professors, musicians who have played tours across the country, a man who survived a deadly bridge collapse - like, we actually have it all. And they were looking for someone who may feel led to write parenting articles for a new ministry outreach - Parent Ninja. It's an email that you can sign up to receive, once a week, or you can catch the abbreviated version in the weekly pamphlet at service.

So I offered to "try out" - and I thought for sure they would say "Cute. You have one three year old. NEXT." Instead. They published it. And I'm on the list for more! It has been an amazing experience in which I believe God is teaching me through my own words. When I sit down to write these articles I am challenged with my own behaviors and parenting choices. I am forced to look at how the compare biblically. And sometimes it hurts!

I'd love for more people to sign up for the newsletter and gain everything I am from, not just my own articles, but the incredibly gifted people I'm honored to share space with. The link to our official Parent Ninja posting is here along with the full version of this article (which is kind of funny and you may enjoy!), and if you click on the top where it says to join the list you'll be signed up! For free! Yay! If you're just here to see what I'm rambling on about it, I give you: the abbreviated version! Enjoy and Blessings!

Ultimate Pinterest Fail

By Lynn Marie Spinks

In this generation of parenting, we all have one common frenemy. Pinterest.

Recently, I found myself scrolling through ideas of things to do with my toddler. But take your eyes off of the phone. Raise them to her, holding up dolls. Enraptured in the idea of making a better moment, I was completely blind to the only thing that mattered to her.

My attention.

Our toddlers don’t have a Pinterest board for things other parent’s are doing. What they would pin, is us. When I was pregnant I dreamt of giving her the world. If she deserves and receives it all, then she’ll have an inkling of how I feel, right?

The short answer is no. As parents we are their world, just as they are ours. Toys come and go. But our time and attention - that’s what they were meant to receive.

When we fail to recognize that, we are creating the worst Pinterest fail of all.

Proverbs 22:6 says “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it,” the Holy Spirit didn’t mean train your child to search the internet for more or better. With this generation, it is extra important that we remember to train up our children by our actions.

And that means limiting our own screen time to lunch breaks or after bedtime and using the time we have with our kids for just that.

Disney World Planning Check In!

Ok friends, last time we met I was showing you the beginning steps to planning your Disney World vacation! On a budget. For the first time. Because that's what I'm going through!

Remember I had mentioned that you will need to leave yourself open for changes? Well. Here's one that we recently made.

As I watched video upon video and tour plans, I realized that this vacation was supposed to be for my family - but I was planning it out for what my dream vacation was. And so I looked a little closer.

Yes, staying club level at the Grand Floridian is my ultimate bucket list stay. But is that what will make the biggest amount of magic for my (then) four year old? Will the hustle and the bustle stress out my husband? The answer was a little disappointing until I remembered why I was planning this. So we've made a switch! Now, we are booking a Royal Room at Port Orleans Riverside! The resort has been described as "serene" and "quiet" - a perfect fit for DH. And the Royal Rooms are decked out in princesses! Perfect for DD! And as a bonus, it should cost us around $400 less. And being on a budget? Every penny counts!

So with a new plan in place and a more unified front, the saving has begun! My dry-erase board has a few boxes blocked out and I've got a few more tips and tricks for you!

Tip #1

PLAN WAY IN ADVANCE
This doesn't apply as much if you are experienced with Disney, but I can't tell you how helpful it's been that I've been watching and studying for what will be over a year prior to our trip. That extra time padding is allowing me to change plans, save up, and find new ways to bring home the dough!

Tip #2

FIND A FACEBOOK GROUP
I've come to find that there is nothing quite as valuable as the direct advice from people who have been there done that and don't even need (but bought anyway) the t-shirt. There are distinct groups for the resorts, parks, Disney Springs, and savings groups. Don't worry, I'll link them so you don't have to search.

Ways to Save For Disney has been AWESOME, the Magic Kingdom Info Group and my personal favorite, The Port Orleans Magical Guide Group!

Tip #3

SHUT. UP.

This is something I've come to learn the hard way. There are like, 5 people who care that you're going/planning on going. Some will use it against you, some will roll their eyes because they don't believe you, and others will tell you not to. You know what that does? It steals your joy. Find the groups, the individuals you know will be excited for you, and only confide in them. Keep the haters back far enough that you're not in their shade.

So what am I doing to save?

I've mentioned before that we are not a family with extra money just laying around. A savings account hasn't typically lasted long enough to accrue a penny's worth of interest, you know? And lets be honest. Disney is expensive. Especially if you're flying in. So what am I doing in the past few months of downtime to save up? Let's review!

SWAGBUCKS
You've probably seen and heard about this one a lot. Many a Disney-vacationer uses this, or attempts to, in order to save a few bucks! While I've seen some people earning close to a thousand dollars a month on it - that's not been my experience. Which isn't to say it's a bad one! I just cashed in today on another $50 in free money, so I'm not mad lol! My advice? Set low expectations if you don't have a ton of time on your hands. I do only the larger money makers. Saving $1 here or there doesn't cut it for me, if it makes me $10+ I'm in. And do as much of the daily stuff as you can! Think long term, each month you get a bonus based on the previous months activity! I've currently earned $174 from Swagbucks and every single penny is appreciated!

Thinking about joining? It's free - why not? Use my link for extra hugs and love and support!

SHOPKICK
This one takes a lot longer for me to save on. I only go to a handful of stores and there's a three year old human with me who isn't as appreciative of the scanning scavenger hunts as I wish she was. Nevertheless, I've earned a $10 Target gift card and am close to my second! That bumps my "total" free-money savings closer to $200, so I'll take it!

Use my code JOY683208 and you'll earn an extra 250 kicks when you join me and complete your first Walk-in or Scan within the first 7 days! Yes, it's that easy. They give you points for walking into a store.

SAVINGS ACCOUNT
I know, I know, I said we haven't been great with these in the past but the truth is that we're trying. Mainly because we sold our house and that payoff is desperately needed for the next house we find, which means it can't be touched! So savings account to the rescue! It also gives us the option of transferring money directly to it from our paychecks. So that $10 I added to it a month ago? It's still in there safe and sound and I'm keeping track of how much I've added and what it's for! The $50 cashout I just took from Swagbucks today was in the form of PayPal, so as soon as it clears it will be transferred straight to the savings account to help with flight money! You'd be amazed how little you miss $5 or $10 here and there, but how quickly it adds up! Go through your car counsel and turn in your change, empty your pockets, take a few bucks directly out as soon as you get paid!

IBOTTA
Ibotta is super helpful if you grocery shop at big box stores like Meijer or Walmart. Target also has some products, but I see more for Meijer by me than I do Target. Unfortunately I use a local chain more often than not, but even with the "any grocery item" or few items I've picked up purposefully after seeing the rebate on Ibotta I'm currently sitting at just over $26 - which will go up by $5 if my mom ever turns in a receipt since she signed up under my invite! lol! Come on, Ma! lol!

If you'd like to try it out, for free, and be an active member of my Ibotta team use referral code: wkqkmkk !

TAX REFUND
Ok. Remember how I said plan early? This is why. It's already tax time for this year, so if you're like me you're refund is already in and gone! But since we started this planning in December, when we found out what our refund looked like I was able to suggest X chunk went to Disney. Then I used my Target RED Debit Card to get the gift cards for 5% off. Every. Penny. Counts.

MARY KAY
marykay.com/lynnmariespinks
And last but not least, I am working my business! The "Lipstick" part of my blog's title is from the fact that I am a proud Mary Kay Beauty Consultant! Aside from the whole "I love the products, I love the sisterhood, this business has changed my life" thing - I make 50% of everything I sell. And I have no territories, quotas, or requirements. So basically, I buy a mascara from them for $7.50 and sell it for $15. That $7.50 is mine. Of course, a smart business woman always invests the other $7.50 back into her business - but since I bought the product outright, if I needed to keep the whole $15 that day to feed my kid or whatever other reason I had, it's my business and I can do that. A company that's been around, tested, tried and true for 55 years this year that wants to pay me a 50% commission off of my product, offers a 100% cash back guarantee to my customers, and bling me out with rewards for making money? Ummm, yes, please. If you don't have a consultant and would like to know more about doing what I do or checking out the product, shoot me an email and I'd be happy to help however I can! lynnmariespinks@marykay.com


How else are you saving? Have your plans changed too? Let me know!

Family Vacation: Disney World! Let the planning begin!

Well, I've gone and done it. I've made the decision and there's officially no turning back now.

We are going to Disney World!!

Why is that a big deal, you may be asking? Millions of people visit the world-famous park every year, why should my trip be any different?

Truth is - it's probably not. But I've been researching Pinterest, YouTube videos (definitely check out Adam Hattan's video's! These have been invaluable to me and have helped me make up my mind on a lot of things we're planning!), talking to friends, and getting in contact with travel agents and I thought I'd share my process with any other mom's of toddler/preschool age kids that are asking themselves the same question we've been fielding: Will it be worth it? If I had a nickel for every time I was told "she won't remember it" I wouldn't have to save a penny for this trip.

Newsflash: She probably won't. But she won't remember when we celebrate Christmas this year either. Should we cancel it? I'm going to go with a big fat no on that one! Now, ultimately, every family and every child is different and you have to do what is in your family's best interest! No mom-shaming allowed! If you know your kid won't remember it and that's reason enough for you to decide to wait, by all means, wait! There is no right or wrong answer here!

Another reason I've decided to blog throughout this process is because we are a middle to low income family and I want to show you how we are going to do all the things with some elbow grease and savings! Just because you're not in the top 1% doesn't mean you can't take your family on a magic carpet ride!

So where do we start? Well, my Mary Kay training has taught me something important when it comes to planning your Disney Vacation. Decide. Set a date. Plan. Work. That's the recipe for success! I've already said "I've made the decision." So the next step is:

Set A Date
What goes into that? Your family's variables. Are there kids going? Are they in school or homeschooled? What weather does your family enjoy? How are you around large crowds?
For us, we have one little, Caroline. She'll be roughly 4.5 years old when we go, so no school to contend with. Both she and my husband are hot boxes, so warm weather is out. If I put the two of them in 80+ temps we won't leave the pool except to go to the air conditioned hotel room. From my research, I've found that around January the temps in Orlando range from mid-50's to mid-70's with "chilly" evenings! Perfect! January also boasts low crowd numbers if you avoid the Run Disney weekend. Which is ridiculously perfect for us, because we don't like to be among the masses. Let's just say Mom's watched a few too many "my child was abducted" stories and Daddy's a worrier as is. Less crowds = Less anxiety.

Plan, Plan, Plan, and Plan again!
Mary Kay always taught us, to fail to plan is to plan to fail! And if you're attempting to be budget-friendly, trust me. The planning stage is intense. I found an old notebook that hadn't been used yet and have been jotting down itineraries, quick tips from websites and video's, lists of rides, etc. It's also helped to narrow down what day we will be doing "what." Because we can't be gone for long, and we generally get antsy being away from home for too long, we are planning a 3 night/4 day trip. We went to Vegas to watch my best friend get married this past April (and yes, C had a blast! Maybe I'll post on that too, later.) and found a rhythm that really worked for us. We take the earliest flight out on our way to our destination and the latest flight available on the way home, which helps to maximize your days.

The trick with Disney is that some events are only offered at certain times and/or certain days. We are planning to do lunch at Akershus Hall with the Princesses the day we arrive. If all goes as I'm projecting (actual flights aren't available yet), we will land at MCO around 8:55. The lunch at Akershus (in Epcot) is only available by reservation from 11:55-3:30, so when my 180 day mark hits and I'm allowed to make Advanced Dining Reservations, I'll be shooting for a late lunch around 1. Having 4 hours to get to the hotel and make our way to lunch should be more than enough. We should even be able to see some stuff on our way there without too much of a rush!

Which reminds me to mention that you need to know your transportation options. We plan to utilize Disney's Magical Express which will collect our luggage and deposit them to our room for us - all we have to do is let them know to expect us, make sure our Magic Bands are in our carry-on's, and jump on the Disney Express to check in officially! You can also rent cars, or, I read that you can Lyft/Uber from the airport as long as you aren't on airport property (you'd have to cross the street) - it's possible that that information is now outdated and you can get picked up right at the door, but double check it!

Ok, so you know when you're going. You know how long you'd like to be gone, and you know how you're getting to and from the airport. Where are you going to stay?

Husband and I have decided the monorail availability is worth paying a little extra for one of the pricier hotels. With C still being little and possibly needing a nap during the day, we don't want to worry about buses or boats. Keeping in mind, of course, that the monorail doesn't service all of the parks, so we will still need a bus for our day at Hollywood Studios. Back in 1996 I stayed at the Polynesian with my family and wow. It was absolutely gorgeous. But ever since C was a little baby and saw a commercial for the Grand Floridian...I instantly cried tears of hope to take her there one day. Then there was the commercial with Cinderella running down the main staircase at the GF and *done* that will be my hotel with my little princess.

I know what you're thinking now, "I thought you said you were middle/low class - how in the world will you stay at a Deluxe Resort?!" Because PLANNING. January is off-season. Which means Disney will typically offer an incentive to Stay, Play, and Dine with them for a discount. Which means booking entirely through Disney, you can get the same stay that I'm planning for around $3200 (not including flights). Not picky about the monorail? For under $2000 you're at the Caribbean Beach. And because you're planning this a year in advance - you've got a lot of time to save up! I should also add that the Stay, Play, Dine packages include your Disney Dining Plan which means you're getting 1 Table Service, 1 Counter Service, and 1 Snack per day, per person. And it's going to save you around $700 if you're paying for 2 adults and 1 child.

You can also rent a room with the Disney Vacation Club! Make sure you go through a trusted site for rentals, but they can save you a pretty penny! For example: A standard room at the GF around the time we want to go is about $640/night. Or, you can stay at their DVC villa for roughly $850...for 3 nights. Keep in mind that the best selection of DVC rooms book up around 11 months in advance - or at least that's when you're advised to book to get the room you want - so you'll want to be exploring those options yesterday. Check out YouTube to see reviews of the hotels! This is where Adam has been a stinking God-sent for me. (This is my favorite video of his so far, btw, if you want to see the GF and these adorable human beings, click here!) After watching his tour of GF and the GF DVC Villa, I was able to make a much more informed opinion about our upcoming trip! Remember those commercials that made me cry? They don't take place in the Villa's. The shops and restaurants are not in the Villa's. They're all close by - but if you want to be in the moment, you may want to plan on one of the Disney Packages and not rent the rooms! You should also know that DVC rooms are not included in any of the ticket/dining special offers that will be floating across your TV screen. Just more to think about and plan for ;)

What else is worth the extra cash to you, since you're saving up for a whole year or so? For me, I want the Early Morning Magic experience! For my family, it'll set us back around $200, but it will be worth every penny to have an all you can eat breakfast, access to 3 rides we will want to go on anyway, and have Fantasyland all to ourselves for a couple of hours. Remember - we don't like big crowds - so the extra money is absolutely worth it for us! And because "she won't remember it," I'm going to want A LOT of pictures! And what better way to get them than having a professional photographer with us (almost) every step of the way? The Memory Maker package will cost you about $150 if you book it in advance, but you don't pay a penny for any of the photo's that are taken, you can actually be in them without taking a selfie (although, I do love a good selfie! I wonder if the Photographer would selfie with us?), you're not using as much of your own camera/phone battery (ask me how that could save you around $30), and they add magic to your photos! Your little Prince/Princess holding Tinkerbell. Who doesn't want that?!

In my magical notebook that I'm using, I've written lists of events/rides that I think we might be interested in or that I know nothing about. Then, after C is asleep, or sometimes while we're curled up together, I jump on YouTube and do a search for that ride or event. Some things come highly recommended by seemingly everyone on the internet, and yet...I don't think we'll be spending time doing them. For instance, Fantasmic. There are very few reviews I've seen that say not to watch it. And maybe we will - but remember, we have 3.5 days to get in 3 parks and everything we have to see. Don't fill up your day with stuff the internet told you to do, just because you read it online. I have also realized that my memories of Haunted Mansion and my desire to jump on it again are pretty much going to have to stay where they are for a bit. After watching some of the video's and inviting C to watch them with me, it's going to be too scary for her and the last thing I want to do is traumatize my child because *I* want to go on a ride. If we were going with a group and I could pop on with someone else, I probably would add it to the list, but the truth is that it's just the three of us and I don't want to miss a moment with my two loves! All of this planning has also helped me to realize where our "rest" portion of the trip is going to come in.

Until late 2019, Star Wars Land is not open. Which means Hollywood Studio's is going through a lot of renovations and to be honest, we probably would skip it all together except it's where the Disney Jr Live! Stage Show is, as well as Hollywood & Vine's Character Breakfast. This is where knowing your days comes in handy. Doc, Sofia, Handy Manny, and Jake are only there at breakfast. Which means our day 1 is out as well as the day we are doing Early Morning Magic. Which actually works out, because if all goes as planned, Hollywood Studio's will be our day three and we will be ready for some rest that late afternoon/evening back at the resort. And it allows for everything we've been dreaming about and still being able to close out our trip with a second swing through the Magic Kingdom!

If you're taking a late flight, why not get extra time in one of the parks? The Magical Express will let you know the day before what time to be ready for pick up. If we don't need to be to the hotel until 4pm, I'd imagine we can spend all morning up until 2:30 or so at MK before hopping on the monorail to say goodbye to the happiest place on earth!

WORK

Ok you're planning, planning, planning some more - don't stop! Keep planning lol! But now you need to fund this vacation. I'm a visual person. If I don't see it, it isn't real. So I've dedicated one of my dry-erase boards to vacation planning. Mary Kay also teaches us that "A tracked number never lies," so if you're making your ADR's with 180 days to take off and you haven't saved a penny yet...you're probably going to be stressed way more than I care to be. With a type of working vision board, you can check off the things you're working for. Get the kids involved! Let them color in the $150 Memory Maker box!

Pick up things here and there! I just signed up with Poshmark to sell some of the items in my closet that I don't need/want anymore. What will I do with that money? Ummm search Poshmark for Disney apparel. Go ahead, I'll wait. Cute, right?! There's vacation clothes and even accessories! One Christmas I got hand sanitizers as part of a "beauty" basket my Nana gave me (don't judge me, I love my purse size sanitizers!) Well, one of them happens to be on a clip that can hang off a backpack! Which I will need for Disney! So I've not got a box started with it in it and I'll be adding dollar store poncho's, a portable batter charger, wet wipes, small Kleenex packages, and more to that box as I pick them up. You're not going to notice the $10 charger from TJ Maxx now, but if you wait until takeoff and you're dipping into souvenir money - it won't be pretty.

Even your work requires a plan. How many months until everything needs to be paid? If you're renting with DVC the room needs to be paid for almost immediately and the dining plan option must be added (paid in full) no later than 2 weeks from check in. How much do you make in a month? For me, my only "work" is Mary Kay. Which means if I want to save $250/month, I need to sell double that. Plus my bills. I need to be busy with around one beauty experience per week. Hey, did you need any Mary Kay, by the way? lol! If you aren't in DS and have a conventional job, like Husband does, I'll be looking at his salary paycheck, seeing where there's extra, and seeing if I can cut back anywhere else. Which I think we all could do. Seriously, does anyone leave Target spending less than $60? And what happens to all that stuff you had to have once you get it unloaded from the car? Be strong! Your trip depends on you! Which reminds me, while you're at Target, pick up a Disney Gift Card! You'll save 5% if you use your RED Card, be fulfilling that Target check out quota, and being super proactive all at the same time! I figure if I buy $700 in gift cards to pay for our dining package, I'll save around $35. Which doesn't seem like much until your in a souvenir shop and your little is hugging a stuffed animal. Then you'll be glad you had it!

There's SO much more, but you're looking at all of the Pinterest boards anyway, right? No need to re-read everything they've already said! If you're interested, here's what I'm pinning on my Our 1st Disney Trip! board!

What will we tackle next? I'm thinking apparel. I've never been one of those girls with great fashion, but doggone it, for Disney I must look my best! And I've already been looking at the perfect footwear for comfort and style...according to the reviews ;) Until next time! GO PLAN!

Another Change for Same Old Me

So, I went and did it again. I recreated myself, improved myself, and...lost...myself. Ok, not all that dramatic, but maybe a little. Let me rewind.

Several years ago, I went through this period where I decided to live.it.up. I drank too much, travelled (without the husband) too much, danced the night away, and didn't think one single thought as to what it was doing to me, my husband, my friends, and the people we all know are watching from the sidelines. Honestly, did you know that people are watching you? It's true. And not just in a social media creeper kind of way, but in real life. I was making bad decisions. It all came to a head and I decided it was time to pull myself completely from that lifestyle. That was almost 5 years ago.

A year later, my husband and I found ourselves pregnant and stronger than ever! We had rededicated ourselves to finding a home church and things were looking up! Caroline, our little bundle of joy, is now a healthy, strong-willed, toddler. We have a fabulous church home that we love, a great circle of friends, a healthy relationship, and are working on accomplishing dreams we had put on hold or forgotten about.

But something was missing. I didn't know what it was, I just knew that something had left my life and I couldn't put my finger on it. About a week ago, a friend of mine recommended a book to me after hearing that I hadn't been able to keep interest in anything I'd tried to read lately - which was admittedly a poor attempt anyway.

Having just pushed to complete a YA Novel I'd been working on here and there for the past year or so in time to submit it to a writing contest (which yet another friend had told me about and half challenged me to work for), I found myself wondering what it compared to and I had no idea. I hadn't written it to fit a genre or to fill a specific publisher's call. It was an idea that had come to me and I just wrote it. The only book I've completed in the past year and a half was The Big Leap and that was for my Mary Kay training. A book about a young pirate, his curse, and a kiss sure didn't fit that as a comparable title. So when said friend, whom I've known almost my whole life, suggested a book, I went out and bought it. And I devoured it. Within 3 days it was completely finished and it had ravished my mind.

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, which you can find here.

I had to run an errand on my own and randomly put in an older CD, one I'd listened to years ago before I'd taken on the "Mom" Hat and refused to take it off. And I found that piece I'd been missing. It was in me all along, just waiting to be unearthed. The combination of a few simple things I just hadn't embraced in awhile was what was missing. Reading, writing, and singing.

You see, society gives us labels and we reject them or embrace them or don't even realize we're wearing them. But sometimes I think we box ourselves in to the idea of what we should be, or that we can't have anything we used to have because of who we've worked so hard to become. But some of the things can still fit. They're supposed to fit.

I quit listening to secular music because it wasn't as upbeat and positive as I personally needed when I'd first made the decision to go a different direction in my life. I'd quit reading books when I decided I needed to be a more present parent - or told myself I didn't have time, when I spend WAY too much time scrolling social media. I shouldn't blog because what could I possibly have to say? But reading those pages, heck, just holding the book, felt so good. It didn't compromise my beliefs. It didn't take time away from my family.

Listening to that CD and singing at the top of my lungs didn't make my worship this morning feel any less connected to God. If anything, it helped. Because I felt more whole, I wore my whole skin. God created me to be inspired by music and people and stories and love songs. God created me to create, to write. God created me to connect with people, to give a voice to what I've gone through and continue to go through. Why had I stopped?

Because I had decided what I needed. Sometimes we are so blinded by what we desire to become that we can't see that our stumbling blocks were put there by our own hands.

Now, I'm not saying go out and drink to oblivion and cheat on your significant other because you used to and it feels good at the moment! But, guys, we have to allow ourselves to enjoy every aspect of our God-created life. Am I now forfeiting my Shine.fm radio station, or K Love? No way! But if I want to pop in some Taylor Swift and teach the toddler to "Shake It Off" is that such a bad thing? Heck. No.

What part of you did you leave behind on accident? Thank God for His timing, He put each of these pieces in place perfectly one after the other! I'm still out here trying to conquer the world, but at least now I'll be doing it with everything I have! How about you?

Why Rachel Platten's Stand By You is the Perfect Self-Love Anthem

For years I have followed, tweeted at, fallen deeper and deeper in love, with Rachel Platten. Her talent, dedication, and passion have been evident from the very start. And now, I'm finding another reason to love her. (Which is insane because, though we've never met, when I see her succeeding I am so tears-in-my-eyes-proud it's like she's me, or my sister, or my best friend.)

Life is hard. And sometimes we give up on ourselves quicker than we should, we talk worse to ourselves than we would ever about anyone else. We pick on ourselves when given compliments. We limit our belief in ourselves. We watch others succeed and think it's because they have something we don't. And by "we" I mean "I." It's a bad habit, one that started young, and, I'd suspect I'm not alone.

Recently I was pushing for some goals that required a bit of team work and where only a few weeks prior I was surrounded with votes of "You've got this!" "I am going to help!" "We can make it happen!" "Call me Friday!" - the deadline approached and suddenly everyone's phones were dead. Or muted. Or lost. Or eaten by some mystical Harry Potter death sucker demon. I looked around, and I was for the most part, alone. Being alone is something I've never been very good at. I feed off of other's energy and creativity. But life is a journey, so I refused to stress (too much). And as I drove around doing errands, Rachel Platten's "Stand By You" was on and I found myself singing it. And by singing, I mean I pretty much was Rachel. And I was rocking it hard. But to whom?

Me.

Because, dang it ladies, we need to stand by OUR SELVES. I don't care how it sounds at first, we ALL have multiple sides. And if you're anything like me, part of you will be absolutely dying and ready to quit everything at the exact moment the other side of you is begging you to chin up, chest out, and fight on.

"Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through" Yes, baby girl, we are breaking down. But we are also going to break through. And when the broken half of you has broken wings, borrow them from the stronger side of yourself until you're ready to open those suckers back up. Because there is always a reason to fight. To persist. To live. ALWAYS.

Rachel also teaches us about persistence. When I first found her music, it was around 2011 and she was relatively unknown, compared to where she is now that is. This girl never gave up. Her reaction to hearing her song on the radio brings tears to my eyes, it's so real! Even if music isn't your goal, what are your wins, big success moments?  How will you feel when you earn your first Mary Kay car? Or the first time a patient requests you to help them? When you graduate? From 1000 ships to Fight song - know what she did? She hustled. Many will see her current success and  think it came quickly, but you and I know differently.  

Here are the lyrics to the song, from AZ Lyrics. And the music video. Love yourself, guys, because everything starts with you and if you can't stand by you, sing it loud and proud until you can! And keep fighting for the dream in your heart and a way to make it happen. God wouldn't let it stay on your heart if there wasn't a reason!


"Stand By You"

(even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven)

Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed
And the heart—sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And, love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Oh, truth—I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith—I think faith is having a reason
And I know now, love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open, too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine
And I'll be your arms, I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise, well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees
'Cause I... I'm gonna stand by you

Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through (come on)
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
Love, you're not alone
Oh, I'm gonna stand by you
(even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven)
Yeah, I'm gonna stand by you

Now that you're in love with Rachel like I have been, check out some of her older stuff! Her "Be Here" CD is one of my all time absolute favorites.

Seriously, she's adorable, how do you not love her?!

Is being a "better" mom taking you away from being there?

We see them everywhere. You know them, the adorable mommy and me posts. The perfect Christmas cookies; flour in your hair, frosting on your little one's nose. Craft days with hot glue guns and pom poms. Laughter fills the air, sunlight kisses perfectly polished hardwood floors, a young - and no doubt perfectly in shape - mom giggles with her adoring toddler. It looks like perfection. I think we've all even seen those posts and claimed them a sort of Pinterest-perfection. But what don't we see? I'll tell you, at least in my experiences, what hides in the shadows of the perfectly swept up curtains and the polished floors.

Time.

More clearly, time away from being a mom...in order to be a "better" mom.

Those floors didn't clean themselves and I'd be willing to bet there was an episode or two of Daniel Tiger playing while Mom cleaned the toys off of them, dug out the Swiffer, and took care of business.

Sure, baking cookies is fun! But you have to go through the cabinets checking ingredients, drag the little one into the stores, and then...lets not forget the CLEAN UP. Yep. You had the fun, made the memories, it was awesome! And then it hits you. Stay up until midnight (or later if your child is like mine and doesn't believe in sleep) to clean the dishes...or rely on Dinosaur Train to entertain the little angel in the morning while you do dishes.

Do you sense a theme? Am I alone in this? I don't think I am. And it made me wonder.

Are we so obsessed with creating Pinterest-perfect memories, that we willingly forsake the little moments? In the shadow of a crib coming down and a toddler bed going up, are we going to regret the lie of "it's bedtime!" so we can get the clean up started? Meanwhile missing the soft snuggles that come with sleepy eyes and a tiny hand on your face - simply wanting the comfort of mommy being near.

Will my 17 month old remember that I made lasagna by scratch, that the floor was polished, that we made a light-up firefly from a plastic Easter egg and a battery operated LED?

Or will she remember how I played on the floor with her, teaching her animal sounds by playing. That she helped me clean up, hand in hand. How we played and talked and focused so much on the moment of life that we were so blessed to spend together that I sensed a needed nap before the cries came.

I'm not saying we shouldn't have those Pinterest-perfect moments. I'm just wondering if maybe those moments don't happen a million times a day, without the perfect poses and expert photographer present. I don't have a photo of her hand reaching for my arm, making sure I was still there, as we laid in bed watching Sesame Street and eating chocolate cookies. But I can feel it. I can see it in my mind. And the time I lifted her into my arms, laid her on my chest and watched her close her eyes for a nap. I can feel the soft tendrils of baby-fine hair that tickled my lips, how soft her little head was when I kissed it.

Dishes don't bring those memories. Polished floors make toddler socks slick. Plan your crafts for when a playmate or family member will be around to help or those nights you can't sleep. Do the planning then. And for goodness sake. Get off your computer or phone- now, quit reading, and go kiss that baby. Did she walk up to you in the time it took you to read this? You saw her from the corner of your eye but you kept reading and she walked away. Go to her. The memories are already in the making, don't stress over the planning and prep and cleaning and perfection. Go live in the perfect moments that won't ever make it to social media. We all know the saying, "Babies don't keep."